


not so good sneaky

by GretchenSinister



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: M/M, Matchmaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:20:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22079830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: "So, from what I’ve read so far, North’s been portrayed in most Jackrabbit fanfiction as the overprotective father for Jack and a massive (ha) barrier for Bunny. In other words, while he doesn’t have anything against Bunny himself, he has a lot of protests against anyone out to despoil his baby (I feel like this should be a prompt in its own right) no matter how pure they declare their intentions are. Honestly, I love this characterization of North xDAnyway, what if it was different in that, instead of North being the barrier, he becomes the shipper instead? Like he’s the one pushing Bunny and Jack to be together, because he fully believes no one would take care of Jack better than Bunny and that no one would be able to make Bunny happier than Jack.It’d be kinda fun to see North playing matchmaker for Jack at first, with Tooth and Sandy and Phil the Yeti 8D but finding them all falling short because Jack doesn’t give off that ‘love’ vibe or something’s just missing...[cut for length]"North sends the elves to spy on Jack and the other Guardians to see if they would be good matches. Unfortunately, the elves are “not so good sneaky”.
Relationships: E. Aster Bunnymund/Jack Frost
Comments: 4
Kudos: 75
Collections: JackRabbit Short Fics





	not so good sneaky

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 6/9/2013.
> 
> Here's the rest of the prompt: "and then one day he finds Jackrabbit arguing and bam! Feels the UST and declares he’ll get them together because their couple name is written in the stars or some bull like that. It’d be in everyone’s best interests, too.
> 
> Pretty please? :D

The notes the elves had given North were hard to decipher, but he had had plenty of practice interpreting their odd, squiggly letters and pictograms. In fact, he almost wishes that the notes he was reading now were harder to read, since that would mean that the elves had been writing quickly and excitedly. Sadly, there's nothing at all to be excited about in this collection of paper scraps.

followed jack to tooth palace like you said

told tooth lady thing you said to tell her

made laugh noises when jack said you thought telling her would take long time

jack and tooth lady flew around palace for little bit

couldnt hear words only laugh noises

lots baby teeth flying with them

baby tooth says was race game

looked like fun can we learn to fly?

no holdy hands no kissing

dont act like mistletoe peoples except for jacks teeth

boring boring

we were good sneaky

no one saw us

except for baby teeth

extra cookies please?

“Ach!” North says, piecing together the last note. “Of course, more cookies! I am going to have Christmas-ornament-shaped elves before this is over! Always the chocolate cookies now, too. Where are they getting the taste for that—”

“Hey North!” Jack bounds into North’s office. “I took that message to Tooth. It was kind of cryptic, though. Well, anyway, we were hanging out for a little bit afterwards, and Baby Tooth told us that she had seen elves in the Tooth Palace! Tell me something, big guy. Do you have, like, a _thing_ for Toothiana?”

“Would you be jealous?”

“What? No, no! I was just going to say I would help you out! So do you like her?”

“Not in that way. Jack, thank you for doing favor.”

“Sure thing! Well, I think it’s night in North America right now, and I’ve got my own work to do—and I wouldn’t want to miss Sandy!”

Jack leaves, and North nods thoughtfully. “Sandy, is it? So Jack is liking the strong and silent type.” He calls a few elves over and grants them the temporary power to follow Jack wherever he goes.

The notes this time are even more discouraging.

so sleepy

dont want to fly now

swim in air like a fish

no holdy hands no kissing

hug like everybody hug

lots smiling also sandyman and jack touched fists like punching but nice

then opened fingers and jack made explosion noise with mouth

also other things but no touching

elves are going to make better secret handshake

not so good sneaky this time

sandyman saw us and made us take nap

dreamed you were dog barking at sideways and upside down tree

also this was not in dream but forgot to say earlier

jack told sandyman he was going to visit warren

Or perhaps not _so_ discouraging. The Warren! Bunny! North hadn’t been even thinking of that possibility. This is excellent. More than excellent, in fact, because he won’t need to rely on his former spies for this part. He can call in the Easter Elf.

He finds the pastel-painted creature down in the kitchens, handing out chocolate eggs to the “not so good sneaky” elves. “You! You are at Warren a lot, da?” He would deal with the chocolate smuggling later.

The Easter Elf nods eagerly. “Good! I think Jack is there now. Here is what you will do.” He hands the elf some paper and a crayon (he had learned long ago to not give them anything sharper). “Go there, see how Bunny and Jack act around each other. I think they could be good together! In mistletoe-people sense, you understand?” The elf nods again. “Write everything down, and bring it to me. I have a good feeling about this. Better than Tooth or Sandy. Will give you as many cookies as you want when you get back.”

The Easter Elf claps his hands in glee before vanishing.

North waits impatiently in his office for hours. Was this a sign of things going well? Had the Easter Elf gotten lost? Distracted? These things did happen.

The door finally squeaks open and the Easter Elf hurries in, dumping a double handful of papers into North’s outstretched hands. He salutes and rushes out, no doubt to start haranguing the yetis in the kitchen for as many cookies as possible.

North frowns at the first note.

lots fighting shouty voices

Maybe this wouldn’t work after all. But Jack shouldn’t be alone! Well, he might as well read the rest to see what went wrong.

stopping shouty voices with kissing

Oh. Maybe nothing had gone wrong at all.

kissing kissing like usual

jack dressing like bunny

then more shouty voices but at me

sorry i am not so good sneaky

but is still good bunny gave me chocolate to go away

like usual

also does not matter because think they do same thing all the time

saw it once

thats why bunny gives me chocolate to go away

but will tell you about it in rest of notes

“Not today,” North says to himself. And yet—he knew it! Today had definitely been a victory, but he could certainly get by without knowing the details—especially written down by an elf.

Now, how to get Jack and Bunny to admit it…


End file.
